The "Old Friends"

I looked at them.  They looked back at me, well they didn't so much look at me, as lie there, doing nothing...

I was cleaning out my car the other week, and underneath one of the seats I found a packet of cigarettes that still had a few left in it.  I looked at this packet, innocuous looking, blue, shiny... then I looked at the cigarettes inside - neatly rolled, standing up like a row of little soldiers...  
I was uploading some images to my PC from my old camera, and I saw a picture of some friends I knew through my ex, who had unceremoniously cut off all ties with me a few months back. We were smiling, having a laugh and a good time...

What connects these two things together I hear you ask.  My complete addiction to cigarettes, and two people who I will, more likely as not, ever hear from again.  Simple.

On seeing both of them, I had the same feeling.  Confusion.

I knew that I'd been deeply connected at one time both to the people I was looking at, and the cigarettes (although obviously not in the same way).  With the friends I was confused because I thought - here is a part of my life, one that I can't necessarily look back on and state was the best, but that did hold some good memories for me.  On the flip-side it contained within it people who no longer wanted to be associated with me.  The cigarettes were a part of my life, a burden, for many years - I hadn't had what I'd call a lovely time with them, however the knowledge that I'd spent ten years of my life working around them had the same impact. I, however, had chosen to live without them!
So, what happened?  Easy - I chucked the cigarettes in the bin, as the most confusing part of coming across them was the fact that I no longer needed, or wanted them.  The pictures I'm finding more difficult - it's sad to think that I'll never see or speak to these people again, it's sadder to think I'd be permanently deleting a record of one of the few good times we did have together. 
It's odd to think this difficulty would have been the complete reverse only 4 months ago.
ST